Assalamualaikum semua. Terima kasih admin jika sudi postkan confession aku ni. Anak dan Suami aku dah sedap tidur, aku je belum.. biasa la kut perempuan kan, macam2 benda yang nak difikirkan. Hehe.
Bulan 10 ni dah masuk 3 bulan dari masa suami aku kantoi curang ngan seorang budak perempuan dekat dengan tempat dia kerja. Ya, kantoi masa lepas raya haritu. Haih sedih betul bila teringat. Ingat dah lama berlalu rupanya baru 3 bulan lebih.
Masa aku dapat tau benda tu masa tu Aku rasa macam dunia aku gelap sangat2. I felt so impossible for me to live another day, I was crying for most of the days, and I did not really eat anything for about two weeks. Aku tak pernah sangka that this would happen to me. Aku tak pernah sangka yang dia akan tipu aku hidup2. Aku bukan orang lain, aku isteri, dan aku mak kepada anak dia. So why? Why did this to me. I had a lot of questions back then and most of it caused me and my husband to fight a lot more.
I felt so empty till the day I realised that there’s no point for me to dwell all my thoughts and emotion into this sad matter anymore. I said to myself, I’m not going to waste anymore time for this. No more running to the office bathroom to cry, no more spending lunch time at surau to cry. No more. And I thought, maybe this is the test from Allah. A test that I can face successfully, a kind of test that is specially designed for my needs, and perhaps for a better future me. Aku realised that aku sayang suami aku and our child despite what happen, and I know that this is NOT him. He is a loving, responsible and a funny guy.. he might be being tested by Allah as well. Aku sedar yang suami aku hanya seorang hamba- just like everyone else, make a mistake. Aku sedar that it is not impossible that I would be in his shoe, and he would be in mine.
So one day, 1 and half month after it happen- I was at work and texted him, I think that was the most honest text that I have ever sent to someone. I said “saya maafkan awak. Saya maafkan semua kesalahan awak” He cried. And in an instant- I feel so free. For the longest time I have never felt this way before. A different kind of freedom. The kind of freedom that I really longed for. Allah set me free by giving me strength to forgive this man who has hurt me so badly. He can never hurt me anymore. I have the power now.
But then his mistake was he thought that forgiveness comes with a package with trust. Sorry sayang, forgive is one issue, and you got it. And trust is another, which you still need to earn it. Hehe.
Aku tulis malam ni to this confession page is that aku nak sampaikan kepada semua (especially the one who is hurting right now) to let go. Let go. Let go of the things you can’t control. Forgive that person, forgive that man, forgive that woman and let Allah handle the rest. Orang yang dianiaya pasti akan dapat balasannya. Percayalah. Build a happy life. You don’t need anyone or anything else to be happy. You just need YOU.
Dan suami aku pun dah terima ‘balasannya’ .. Apa dia balasan tu? Biarlah aku tak kongsi kat sini.. setakat ni saja. Maaf bahasa rojak. Thanks again admin.
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Hantar confession anda di sini -> www.iiumc.com/submit
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